*sigh*…
Sunday, 13 February, 2005
General | 笔者: Twinsmom
My heart feels very heavy after reading Earthtone’s latest entry.
Not that because she is my sister, I care so much about her feeling, though this is the main reason, but then just like her because the person who caused her unhappy (and now me) is the person who so closed to us.
My grandma (ah por) has Alzheimer since 1998 or 1999, I still remember 1998 during my Chinese wedding ceremony she already show the sigh of this sickness. Even though she still can walk then, she can’t even remember who is who, not even my mom, but she still mobile at that time, though weak still can walk.
Then years later Earthtone told us bit by bit everyday, ah por slowly lost her memory and daily capability.
To Earthtone ah por is like mom, who took care of her and my two younger brothers since they was very young, when my mom have to come over to KL help my dad’s business (and she still is).
My dad once told me ah por treat him like her own son, just like she treat my mom, my auntie (ah yee), my uncle (kao-fu), all of them are orphans and she adopted them from poor friend and family member. He also told me during the difficult time he can’t afford to mail the money to ah por, ah por had just tried any job to subsidize the finance, from glue the Tang’s paper bag, to glue label on matches box.
Dad cried on my wedding when he saw ah por in that condition.
Then later ah por’s condition getting worst, my three younger sister and brothers have to shoulder the responsibility to taking care of ah por.
Since Earthtone is the eldest among them all, she bears more responsibility than the two brothers, and they also kind of relies and depend on her to take up the job.
Years ago Earthtone told me she dare not to find a boyfriend, because she afraid she will not have the time to share between lover and ah por, and also because of the responsibility she shy away some opportunity.
But at last she found someone who might not love ah por so much like her, but at least her hubby know how to taking care of ah por, how to entertain ah por, and I’ll said he is doing better than one of my brother. You tell me how many guy will take a lady who has an Alzheimer grandma as his wife, and stay with her help his wife to taking care of her?
Through out all this years after ah por got the sickness, her other daughter and son never show much care about it, at first they said not free, then later they said they not use to her routine, her habit blah blah blah…and avoid all the possibility to take care of their own mother.
And now they don’t even border to look at ah por, not even a peek, not even a greet, not even a “how is she?”
Twinsdad said they are afraid, because as if they ask or look at her, will remind themselves they have not taken the responsibility to take care of their own mother, regardless adopted ah por have treat them well and raised them like her own children.
They are not ashamed of their act, in fact they just tried to avoid it by not see it and hear it (never see it mean never happen).
I’m truly up set with my auntie and uncle, especially auntie who is doing so well, can afford to go learn Cantonese opera, and show off her skill, but no time to look at her mother. I’m very glad she broke her arm during travel to
And she dare to told family’s friends she and my sister and brothers took turns to taking care of ah por during my grandpa’s funeral. Shamed on her, I really want to know what she is thinking, when she burns the joss sticks in front of her beautiful decorated God of Mercy’s altar, may be she got no heart, that‘s why the word “conscience” not even in her mind.
Earthtone being so kind to “protect her identity”, but not Twinsmom, Twinsmom very tulan, and very tiuuuu now, because her sister is being hurt.
As for my brother’s remark (the lamest excuse I have ever heard) , what I have for him only a very BIG *sigh*…I pray to God, light a light to him, help him to feel how our father felt after he himself become a father in few more months time.
And for Earthtone, she has all our respect, Twinsdad said she have a golden heart, and God blessed her.
Ah por is a magic mirror 照妖镜now, who is bad and who is good all show clearly in front of her, isn’t it?
This last paragraph is for 5xmom, she gave Earthtone a comfort while her eldest sister still counting jokers on the gambling table, since 5xmom so afraid of diabetes, I better just say a big THANK YOU to her 