School? Which, what school?
Thursday, 17 November, 2005
General, Parenting | 笔者: Twinsmom
Little Luke “Skywalker”: UPSR… Exams… Dollars and Cents…
*Disclaimer: I’m just a mother seeking the best education for my child. No political discussion please. If you want to discuss politics, please go someplace else. Thank you. (pinjam mumsgather mya disclaimer :tmoops: again)*
I just came back from Egghead’s blog, interesting entry he got there.
About the primary school, the exam, the homework etc.
Recently me and Twinsdad have been discussing about which school to send our twins, no answer yet.
This year on March I wrote a entry about Chinese school, I still stand my point. But what Egghead wrote about the primary school’s politic also a truth.
Few months ago when I talk to my dad, my dad also mention about the politic in the school, and the Chinese school become a battle field for the politician and party. *A bit of my dad background– Chinese educated, very Cina man, support China and communism, ex-anti-colonial activist. Had been the head and consultant of the PTA in our primary school for years. He sure know a lot what going on in the school*.
Then I express my worry that don’t know which school to send, my dad said:
“国小也好华小也好，送她们去一间最靠近家的最好。做人最重要是有道德和价值观，一个学生如果不具备这两个条件，他就是考得再好的成绩，不管多少个A，也是没有用。出来社会也没有方向，做什么都不知道，更不用说为什么而做。现在很多华小里的人事和政治，看了很让我讨厌，而一些小学也不自知的沦落成政客的工具。如果你真的问我意见，忘掉华小。(Just send to a school which near by your house, Chinese or Kebangsaan doesn’t matter. Most important is moral and value of live, without the moral and value, no matter how good their study, no matter how many As they scored, it is just nothing, they come out to the society don’t have a direction, and don’t know what to do, and let alone the purpose of working. And for what I see now, the politic in Chinese school really piss me off, and some of the Chinese primary school have become the tool of some polician. So if you want my opinion, forget about the Chinese school.”
Knowing my dad for this year, this is a very harsh statement from him to the Chinese school.
But to me what I worry is the quality of the teachers, seriously, I listen to too much of the complain I guess, from my old school-mate, who have their kids in Chinese school, as well from friends who work in the school as admin, and some of the teachers Bridgette encountered with when she doing her MLM business. The comments on school teacher’s quality can really leave you in chill. But than again it not only happen in Chinese school, it can happen in sekaloh kebangsaan too. So like Chinese saying 到处杨梅一样花，天下乌鸦一般黑 (no matter where it is all the plums have the same blossom, the crows are still black)
Twinsdad still not decide which school to send, to him the pressure on study in Chinese schoolis a threat to the kids. To me the most important person to direct the kids is the parent, if we parent not put too much pressure on the kids sure thay have no problem. But to Twinsdad the most important to direct the kids is their peer. His point is parent can only give direction to our kids on the early stage, but when they growing up have friends, they will feel the pressure from their friend, what if their friend doing so well, and they not doing well? will they feel being left out? will they feeling paiseh? will they lack of confident being with their friends?
Urgh…I hate this…
I alwasy believe parenting is just…follow the flow, 自然而然，见河搭桥，见山就爬 (naturally, come to the river build the bridge, come to the moutain just climb)
Why must have so much thought about which school to send? Because again, we are not making decision for ourself, we are making decision for someone else — our kids.
But I think one of my dad’s point is very true — send our kids to the school that near our house most. Save the time to travel, save the time, means save the life.
And the shorter distance between the school and home, the less distraction and temptation.
And make sure our kids mix with right type of friends.
And don’t pressure them on study.
And don’t reward them expensive gift when they doign well. Since they never reward me with expensive gift being a good mommy.
And … and… just follow the flow.
Urgh! parenting, once did it wrong, cannot or hard to re-do.
很多父母要华小是因为华小的教育水平比较高。我很认同，因为送他们去求学也为了要学习，既然华小水平较高，还有什么好疑惑？
政治的事情就别管它，反正学校有经营好就可以了。
当然，一定要靠近。不然不止你送上下学辛苦，他们晚回家也辛苦（还有山高的功课）。而且，同学们住的远，也很影响他们的社交。
my opinion is from myself. I was used to school in Kebangsaan. I regret. When I was young, I used to tell my parents I dowan to learn chinese and now. All the funny words you writing in your blog is just conteng only.
My parents did send me to tuition mandrin but the lines just don’t get in my head. In fact, when I was young I hated chinese. Why? Because its a more challenging and difficult language to master rather than english and BM. Teachers can only do so much. The most important thing is knowing which language do you want your children to master when they grow old. I’ve got frens same school as me and they neither can read chinese or master english and BM good. Everything also half tong water. Its really very cham. But then again, if you or twinsdad very good or powerful in either English or Mandrin then can do la. Like my mom not really so good in english and mandrin and my dad is banana like me. So how? I compensate by finding for a bf that can read chinese so I wun be blind! 
Security is still my first priority in choosing a school. After all I want a school that is dead serious about security!! I want to be sure that my child is safe.
I don’t expect my children to be perfect scorer, if they are it will be a blessing from God. Recently hear too many stories about graduates with good academic results without a job.
Touch choices ahead. Hey twinmom, how come you so far ahead? You cross the bridge of choosing which kindergarden?
i’m also already thinking of this dilemma… malay or chinese school… aigh, hope one of you make the decision then maybe i can follow LOL
cming, 当父母就是这样很矛盾，又想孩子学好，又想她们没有压力，可是有时又想–没有压力又怎么有进步？想着赶羊上山–随她们去，可是又怕一朝她们怨我们没有管她们。
, except that your obelad’s english better than me.
…
我还是想送她们去华小，问题是要说服土阿爸。
:b1:
ic3_que3n, I found you and your obelad exactly like me and Twinsdad lor
Yah, I have seen a lot from sekolah kebangsaan ended up half tank on all three language, that is why I a bit reluctant to send my girls to SK.
:b2:
Michelle, ya wor, I not yet find kindergarten for them hor? wah…big leap.
hmm…security, yah…too many horror story in the school, worst than ghost story.
:b3:
Sue, wah…so convenience
马来西亚的中文教育有着渊源流长的历史，这里头，有着前人的奋斗，的血汗，的争取，的坚持，的努力，才得以换来的。一直以来，我以自己生长在这一个国家为豪，因为，在这一个国土里，我可以有自己的中文名字，我有机会学中文，我可以大声地告诉别人说，我是华人。相信我不用说，在邻国华人的困境，有多么的坎坷。是的，相比之下，我们，何等幸福。
身为华教子弟，传承薪火的使命，不靠我，靠谁哪？华教里头的政治真有那么复杂，那么令人吃不消吗？谁要你华教和政治混为一谈啊？谁要你一只竹竿打翻整艘船啊？咋们不要断章取义，我觉得，比较公平。可以的话，我希望大家，仔细看一看，华教得热心人士的认真，努力。那可能是一种执著，甚至是一种固执。但是，没有了那属于华人的灵魂，那，我们还剩什么？可能你会觉得我言重了，你甚至觉得，没有必要把事情说得那么的慎重。但是，请扪心自问，拨开了肤色这一个层次，你心里面的声音，不是在告诉你，你，是个龙的传人，你，有着只属于你的种族的灵魂吗？
华文教育在马来西亚，要说故事的话，可以源源不绝。对我而言，我有种族的坚持，it’s in my blood。那，是改变不了的。本着这样的一个信念，我相信你会知道，我对于学校源流的抉择。政治，整体来讲，所扮演的，只是很小的角色。一间学校办得好与否，很大部分来说，还是可以和政治分得很开。我曾经当过临教，我父亲也是华文教育的人心人士之一，所以我很清楚。政治，就算有再大的影响力，也决不会有要影响莘莘学子学业的大前提，或动机。
让我们暂且不说得那么严肃。坦白说，认识中文，确实是很重要的。中国权势的抬头，2008年的奥运，确实让全世界，开始了对于中文的肯定。不要看小多会一个语言的吃香度。我在南美那么多年，就因为会中文，很多时候会让人眼前一亮。很多老外也开始了学中文的trend。身为华人的我们，有这样的机会，却不好好把握，岂不是浪费？
再说，我从来没有看到有人到华校上学而后悔的。我看到的，只是身为华族，因为没有到华校上课，而终生遗憾。我很多朋友确实如此，没有骗你。
我不否认华校的压力比较多。但是，我可以肯定的事，那一种压力，来自于父母的，最多。老师在学校会努力做好老师的本分，但是很多时候压力的来源，都是父母的求好心切。父母这样的心情，是来自peer pressure，或是社会。如果要让小孩有个好过一点的童年，父母，可以扮演最重大的角色。不要一味的以为踏入华教就如踏入压力锅。
传承薪火文化，人人有责。
I am glad you agree with me.
In response to greenapple, I am not so sure we should sacrifice our children’s childhood for the sake of some political power that we chinese lack in our country.
I think we should not let our own ambition become the influence behind our children’s growth. They should never live under the shadow of their parents…
but that’s my two cents
*clap hand* for Greenapple’s comment! I really like her comment!
The nearest school to my house is a SRJK (C), hahha, so it’s definitely my choice. I still want my girl to learn Chinese and must learn Chinese and the only opportunity to learn Chinese is during the primary school period. As for the drop of standard, as my father and teacher said – if one is good, she wil be good in no matter what school.
They are many examples of those who can master Chinese and English very well like Zara’s mama, Egghead, Domesticgoddess and some of my friends too though I am definitely not the one. I believe this goes with their effort to master the language.
Don’t you think Chinese character is very beautiful? (I want to comment in Chinese but too stupid and don’t know how to input the Chinese character.
)
It’s not that difficult to decide actually. Perhaps an easier guideline is how much you want your children to understand about chinese language? You just want them to be able to converse, read/write simple chinese, then SK; if you want them to learn more than that, i.e. 何谓儒家思想，为何尊师重道等等，the meaning behind the proverbs, 文学经典 etc., then chinese school it is. 至于华小里的人事和政治，何必叉只脚进去，除非你是董教总或者搞政治。Further more, peer pressure happens everywhere, whether in SK or SJK. As long as parents we don’t pressure them I think they’d do good. Being in a healthy competitive environment is not a bad thing, as long as not the parents pressuring them to be at the top all the time. 不要一直把华教和政治混为一谈，那你就不会酱难抉择了。
I must agree with what greenapple said.
Although I am not good at Chinese but I have never regret studying in Chinese school. Chinese characters, pictograms are so beautiful, they are not easy to learn. If one can master chinese, I don’t think getting to know English would be a problem.
Don’t give up our most valuable asset being a Chinese. Other races are flopping to Chinese school but we being chinese contemplated sending them there?
I definately will choose Chinese School too…at least study chinese in Primary school mah..這樣才不會有’雞同鴨講’的情況在我家發生囉..哈哈
更何況,如他們所說得..真的沒聽人說過後悔念中文耶..
This is why children need parents….
A kid may go to a very competitive & pressured school…(well, we are living is a pressured society wat??) but in my opinion, we as parent, should try our best to help them to handle these situation… talking & explaining to them since young. When to be responsible & when to take things easy…
The school i’ll send my children, I’ll go for the nearest to my home, security, and most of all the overall environment.
i guess u must first decide whether u want to send to chinese school or not. then pick the one closest to home (unless it’s a really teruk school, then choose the next nearest one lah)
I have decided that my kids will all go to Chinese school. Whether or not to join the rat race is another matter. my take is that when they have the opportunity to learn such a wonderful language, I think it would be foolish not to make use of it, especially when we are Chinese.
I already told hubby want to send Zara to Chinese school, but I live in Shah Alam, Chinese school 的影子都看不到.
I would like her to at least get some basic knowledge of the language, then 2ndary, she can choose whatever school she wants to go to.
I agree very much with what Greenapple said, “从来没有看到有人到华校上学而后悔的。我看到的，只是身为华族，因为没有到华校上课，而终生遗憾”
My hubby whole life SJK school, now learning Chinese on his own (w/out much help from me because I’d no patience), see him also kesian. If only his parents had sent him to at least 6yrs of Chinese school.
Well, go where also got politics, just close one eye loh.
see…i no go chinese school lor… so many people agree with greenapple, but i dunno what she said wor…!!
hehe…actually my pc no install chinese character, so can see boxes oni….
It’s not just the language. It’s the culture. It’s a culture I’m deeply glad I was schooled and raised in.
Yee? why like breastfeeding? People who had benefited from it swear by it.
Must must must fight for it. Becos I have seen the difference between Chinese raised in English school and Chinese school.
Just different.
Yes, it’s more about the culture than just the language. We did learn more about the Chinese culture in school.
And as what Greenapple said, “从来没有看到有人到华校上学而后悔的。我看到的，只是身为华族，因为没有到华校上课，而终生遗憾”, i can vouch for that. The same happens around me as well.
好像很矛盾,虽然我还没有孩子,不过我会让他就读华校.我有一些朋友不会华文,我总是觉得他们缺少什么那样.我的华文不好,不过我觉得华文有很深的知识.
孩子会怎么样,父母扮演的角色很重要吧.
华校一定是我的选择，正如青萍果还有Allyfeel所说的。
至于学校地点，我的想法是，做父母的要牺牲点咯，呵呵… 虽然不是很实际。你倒可学习‘孟母三迁’咯，找间最好的华小不论多远都好，在学校附近租间小屋大伙搬过去。反正现在住的是阿公的，可以留着待孩子大了再住。搬得靠近学校，一家四口三个好，牺牲一个而已嘛。为父的工作地点再远也要牺牲，孩子的前程重要，安全也重要。
怎么说，以后的世界华人不得不懂华语。告诉你，我在北京见过的老外全都会华语！华人在这不会华语会很惭愧，无地自容。
青苹果，说得好
。但是我却有不同的解读–对我来说在支持华教的时候，我们也要认清我们的方向。啊呀，相信你已在最新的张贴读到了。
…难为了家长，更难为了学生。
…
我是非让孩子读华校不可，就算她们的父亲真的不答应，我也要想办法。为什么？因为我要破除一些人的印象，就是华校出来的学生都是土豆！真的，尤其在部落格里，我看见过太多对中文教育的歧视。
而我本身甚至曾在车祸后和对方理论时让人讥笑：“不懂英语不要和人争辩。”
所以我对孩子的期望是–中文程度可以读红楼梦和鲁迅，英文程度读得懂莎士比亚和魔戒。
:b1:
Egghead, I will still send my kids to Chinese School, but I will becareful on the politic, we always can 见步行步。compare the kebangsaan and the (c), I really have no heart to send the kids to kebangsaan. about the pressure on work, we parent play a bigger role on it.
:b2:
Jefferene, Allyfeel– yah, Chinese is a very beautiful language, unless learn from young, otherwise there will be certain difficulty to regconise the character.
Like I said–no problem for a Chinese ed. to learn English, but English ed. learn Chinese is a big challenge.
:b3:
DG, 不要一直把华教和政治混为一谈，那你就不会酱难抉择了。 除非倒大霉发生白小的情形
:b4:
Msau, 土阿爸怕她们和他鸡同鸭讲嘛
:b5:
Annie, you are right, parent play the most important role, bbut too bad a lot parent still put the whole resposibility to the school, they don’t wish to share it, but they are good to blame it.
:b6:
King’s wife, my place got one quite near, eyeing on that one, and have to register early, otherwise I think it will be full house very soon.
:b7:
Sexymum, ya lor…Shiaulin said even the ang-mo in China also can speak Mandarin leh, so pai seh if my black eye, black hair, yellow skin wan can’t speak.
:b8:
Zara’smum, at least your hubby still put the effort to learn, a lot because they not capable to pick up, so instead of accept their failure, they disclaim it.
:b1:
ET, I guess we can see it in our family too right? no?
:b2:
Pin Pin, Greenapple gave a very good point isn’t it? actually not only the culture we are learning, the value of Confucian thinking.
:b3:
Keeyx2, 父母在孩子的教育上真的扮演很大的角色，上墚不正下墚歪嘛。
:b4:
ShiauLin, a la mak! d*mn paiseh lor, ang-mo also can speak Mandarin and know Chinese, how can some Chinese here still disclaim learning Chinese?
崇洋也算是崇到祠堂去了。