Reward? Bribe?
Friday, 18 November, 2005
Parenting | 笔者: Twinsmom
RM2000 handphone, Hong Kong trip, and a big ang pow for 12 years old who scored 7 As.
Even this gifts are given after the result came out, but it was promised before the exam, so it sounds like a bribe instead of reward to me.
If a 12 years old got *reward* because scored 7 As, then what do you think she will get *if* she score a lot of As on the later exam?
A car may be, or later may be a house.
Then her appetite become more and more.
What is the value of study now? Gain knowledge? Learn about moral? Then what is the moral behide this *reward*? Don’t get thing done until you have goodies (real big one) waiting ahead?
This is very scary, very very scary, study no longer just for knowledge gain, but material achieve.
Are there any other way we can reward our children on the study?
What the parent wants become what the children wants too.
I bet there are some parents pressing on their children now — if you score more or same amount of As like her, I will give you something even more expensive than what she got.
No? Let see.
Today we bribe the kids with luxury goods on study, then we will bribe others for something to be done, and then more people will be expecting bribed to get things done.
果然书中自有*黄金*屋。
我六年级时考到6A (Straight) 什么都没有. 我想, 小小的奖励是应该的, 但是到这种地步, 有点过份了. 虽然人们都要一代比一代好, 但也不用好到如此离谱吗!
I am jealous actually, but to think deeper, my parents would have died working to save so much of money to give me the same amount of prizes. I would rather my mum cook me my favourite dish each time I want to. Besides,why does a kid at the age of 12 requires to use a RM2000 handphone?
Besides, so what if she/he got 7A’s? Nowadays, children are getting intelligent and smarter. Straight A’s student are all over the place, throw a stone and you will get a handful. Unlike those days, where 7A’s is really something to be proud of. Heck, my primary school’s A class got 39/46 students got all A’s. So what?
Bad example.
wah…hosntly, parent shoun;t reward too big to their child, give them sweet or cockroach will do.
“果然书中自有黄金屋”
I love this saying..
I can’t say if i would do the same or not.. because my brat hasn’t grown up to that stage yet.. but for every story.. there must be a reason behind it.. so i will try not to be judgemental.. in case in the future.. i also do the same for my brat…kekkekee!! and then later .. i kenna hantum.. kekeke!!
well… let’s compare:
case 1 (7A):
student study at home with nothing else to do… just study in air-cond room, eat, sleep, and back to school again…
case 2 (3B + 4C):
student study less than 1 hour a day, help parents with their food stall business, help take care of 3 siblings when parents are working, take care of sick grandma living with them…
who do you think deserve our rewards?
hi maria….actually i didnt receive the email from you in my hotmail leh..anyways..no worries!
these days, parents have become so “creative” in getting their children to score.
personally, i believe that there are children who can really study and children who are only so-so and need to work really hard at it to score straight A’s. i think laying down rules from day 1 (eg. no outings on weekdays and pamper them with fun family weekend outings) would help more than extravagant rewards, which might do more harm in the long run. like you mentioned, these children will only crave for more and more expensive things as they get older and might resort to doing things only when bribed…
when i was studying my dad never bribe or promise any reward for good result. he just “threathen” me by this statement “if you do not wanna be in the kitchen, like your mom, you better study hard” at that time i hated cooking…so i study! hehehe oh ya, i still get reward for my achievement..it came as a surprise.
唉，无眼睇！ 真的不知那些媒体是鼓吹还是讽刺… 看到标题我都懒得去读了。
I think a small reward is healthy, not extreme one. It’s quite common nowadays parents reward their child with good performance as schooling gets very stressful. My nephew only standard one didn’t get to first class for standard two got scolding from sis went complaint crying in front of grandma saying he felt pressure.
It’s getting tougher to be parents. How to strike a balance and teach with wisdom? Not easy.
I’m working in a corporate world, a mother of 2 kids, getting reasonable comfortable income and only using a cha-plang phone!
Seriously, some of the successful ppl in life comes from the rural area and led a hard life. These are the ppl who deserved to be rewarded.
Why bribe kid?? Got money just send overseas to continue education,lebih baik kan?
“You reap what you sow”
If you reward children money/material for scoring A’s. When he/she grows up, he will demand more money/material on his/her achievements. Probably they will become more materialistics.
a lil reward is encouraging. my parents never do that to me, but i actually asked them to do so(i didnt ask for expensive stuff). so i score 7A(standard 6), 7A1B in pmr and 6A2B in UEC (獨中，form 3) and i dont know what am i going to score in SPM cause i didnt prepare good. but i think all those u mentioned arent suitable to a 12 years old kids. why is there such parents ler?? >
Too much for a 12yr old kid.
A little reward is good, too much become spoiling the kid already.
“You don’t buy me PS2? Ok la, I don’t study”.
“You don’t bring me to Disneyland LA? Ok, I chin chai do my exam”
酱就掺咯
“RM2000 handphone, Hong Kong trip, and a big ang pow for 12 years old who scored 7 As.”
if that’s my son or daughter
i’ll ask them to kill me better still
Jason, this is what I said lor, what the parent wants become what the children wants — 面子。
better.
yah…if they really need to find a word as a excuse.
:b1:
cockroach, eww…以后你的孩子恨死你，给蟑螂。
:b2:
Mama Bok, you not so sure, but I am pretty sure I wouldn’t wor ;).
:b3:
egghead, yah…sad isn’t it? the one who really deserve it but couldn’t have it. But believe the second case will get his reward differently
:b4:
mama2ashley, “creative”?
:b5:
Sue, yes, in another word–the kid is being spoil now.
:b6:
miche, :lol:…yah, I got this kind of “threaten” also, instead of reward.
:b7:
DG, 报章这么做可能原意是讽刺，但是很多人会把它解读为鼓吹。
:b8:
Allyfeel, standard one wor? already said feel pressure? *sigh*…
:b1:
Baby smooches, you got chap-plang hp, I don’t even have one :lol:…but I thought the good result already a reward to the kid since she study hard?
:b2:
ali allah ditta, they must have very extra money I guess, lagi baik give me some :lol:.
:b3:
Michelle, yah, her parent better prepare to buy a car or a house for her :P.
:b4:
Trinity, this kind of gift not even suitable for a SPM student lar, RM2000 hp? siao lor.
good luck on you study wor.
:b5:
Zara’s mum, 很惨很惨…荷包很惨,孩子前途更惨。
:b6:
maddy, ai yoh…so extreme, cool down, cool down :lol:.
as a student, i myself believe a small reward is good. but the “RM2000 handphone, Hong Kong trip, and a big ang pow for 12 years old who scored 7 As.” case is just way too 夸张.
like my father, he won’t promise me for anything at first. but when the result is out, he will say “ok, congratulations. for each A you get, i reward you RM50.” Everytime after getting the money, i will straightaway bank-in them. so in a way, it also helped 培养我存钱的习惯.
仪，小富婆，有多少钱在银行了？:lol:.是啰，真的很夸张嗬？做坏市场。
this world must be siao liao.. got this kind of siao people around wan… 黏线…
not only they are around, they are running wild.
Hey there Maria, I’m not out of blog hibernation yet, but I curi-curi blog 3 posts as promised! (hehe. not 3 lines lah. 3 blogs ok?) BTW, my phone oso chapalang one.
Hey, I read she is going to become a doctor wor, maybe next time she going to buy big house, big car, big handphone, big vacation for the parents…:lol:. Above comment is for humor purposes.
MG, itchy hand leh? see how long you can
tahansleep :P.:b1:
Michelle, huh! then the patient “cham” lor…before being treat have to promise buy her big house or big car if the illness cured (there will be where the big house and big car for parent come from lar). :lol:…
*Above comment is also for humor purposes only.*
yah man…..I almost fainted when I read this. Somemore the phone more expensive than mine!! Pure spoilt brat lahhhhh..Can’t imagine next time Faythe ask for such rewards, smack her!!