Poor Annabelle… and A Poor Boy…
Sunday, 26 February, 2006
Kids | 笔者: Twinsmom
This morning we went for dim-sam with my father, after dim-sam bought a new potty for the girls, and later head to MidValley for jalan-jalan.
In MV, while I was walking to the MPH with Isabelle and my dad, Twinsdad and Annabelle was following behind us. I was surprised to see Annabelle crying when I turned around and looked for them.
Oh… dear… Poor Annabelle is crying and rubbing her hand in Twinsdad’s arm. I asked “What happen? Did she fall down or something?”
Twinsdad said while they walking into the MPH, he saw a boy, around annabelle’s age, was pulling her sleeve as the boy was walking by with his father. Twinsdad thought the boy was just being playful. Immediately after that, Annabelle started crying and Twinsdad told her not to cry, and that the boy was just playing with her. Only on closer inspection by Twinsdad did he notice and big red spot on Annabelle’s arm! The boy wasn’t pulling Annabelle’s sleeve, but actually pinched her… real hard!
It has been three hours since the incident and there’s still a 1cm narrow pinch mark still visible on her arm.
Of course I am upset, what the h*ll? Just walking pass and got pinched by someone! d*mn it! Feel like slapping the boy.
What the h*ll was the boy thinking? What is wrong with him?
yah…. What is wrong with him? If the boy is healthy and normal, he will not go around pinching others like this. There must be something wrong with him. I wonder is there’s something wrong with his upbringing? Did he grow up in a hate-and-pinch environment? Is there something wrong with his parents?
Then this remind me what SIL#2 told me about her son S’li in school –
S’li is going to standard one this year. After few weeks in school, one day he came back with a bleeding nose. BIL and SIL were shock. They then found out that one of his classmates like to hit people - most of the classmates were punched and hit.
The saddest thing is, the teachers are young and has no experience in handling this kind of situation (shocked? yah, my friends have told me before - most of the young teachers are good at teaching, but not PR skills. Good PR skills are required to deal with difficult kids… and their parents!). So, instead of informing the boy’s parents of his bad and harmful behaviour, the boy got just a simple “don’t do it again” warning, which has no effect on him because the punching kept going on.
Then one day, one of the classmates turned the table, and hit back at this big bully boy (who will now be refered to “BBB”). The next day, this BBB came to school with his father! hah… the father wanted to ask the teacher “why is my son being beaten in the school?”
And guess what? As soon as BBB walked into the classroom with his “my-son-is-always-right” father, the classmates pointed at BBB and told the mother of the boy who retailiated earlier: “就是他，就是他常常打人，就是他打某某。” (there he is, he always beat people, he was the one who beat so-and-so.” the father quickily, “sorry, sorry.” and left the classroom.
Later that week, BBB was very well behaved. Unfortunately, after that week, all was back to normal - BBB was up to his old tricks again, hitting and punching his classmates.
Scary isn’t it? How am I suppose to teach my girls? when people hit you, you hit them back? because if you tell the teacher, the teacher also doesn’t know what to do.
enrol my girls in self-defence classes? What if they are misguided by their “peers” or Twinsdad and I get a little too careless with their moral development, and they turn into big bullies as well? how? As Spider-Man (Twinsdad is a comic fan-natic) says, “With great power, comes great responsibility”. Or as Mr.Lee (Twinsdad Form 3 Maths teacher) once told Twinsdad and his friends, “Power corrupts, absolute power corrupts absolutely”.
maybe I should teach my girls to be alert, smell the danger before it happens. Or get them bitten by a radioactive spider and develop a “spider-sense” to warn them of danger. Sheesh. parenting is so tough…
I actually feel sorry, and pity for the boy now. What is wrong with him? I will be so worried if my girls go pinching people around like the boy, gosh…
aiyo never mind lar Anna, come auntie shiaulin sayang. *hugs*
one of my nephew experientce this before too, and guess what, all the children’s parent stand up and boycott the school! and asking the school to suspend the problem-child or else they will raise this matter to 教育局 (this happened at primary school). After that this problem-child got suspended for 3 wks, then his parents transfer him to other school. end of the story…
actually this kind of cases happen everywhere, just that people not so care about it. Some parent just said 大事化小，小事化无。所以不了了之。
ai… 病态社会产生病态父母，病态父母产生病态小孩，这道理不是瞎说的。是社会生病了。
Poor Annabelle, I felt heartache too when I was reading your story. COme … let me give you a big warm sayang …
i hope she will get over the whole tragic drama soon….
aiyoyo…. Anna, come come milly jiejie sayang hor…. dun cry o..pain pain ornot?? come come….sayang aredi not pain pain o…
u shud send ur kids to me liao..wahha..let me teach them how to self defence!! wahha….
kidding lar… i scare later i tecah, ur kids will fight with u..whaha
poor girl.. 来，姐姐 sayang..
that boy is very the 没家教 ler..
One day, he will pinch the “wrong” person and that will be his lesson!
hmmmm this naughty daddy always give those kids fierce look if they trying to do something funny!!!
ai…got to let them walk in front of u all loh..then can sense the danger for them..especially kids at this age like to run around and play hide-seek in mall….jiat lat.
huh…everyone so civilised ? I just feel like pinching him back. hard hard. make him blue black two weeks.
aiyah… I felt so sorry for Annabelle… come come let LS kiss kiss back
my son ah… same thing… but he not so “low standard” go pinch people lah… he only run and run without looking… and will knock out watever or whoever stand in his way one… LOL! pity us have to chase him around!
hmm..when i was in primary, there was a Bully in my class too, hit classmates, take away (robbed :P) our crayons and water colors. Until one day his mom (very old and we thought that was his grandmom) got to know that, and beat him up in the class room until he hid under the teacher’s table. His Mom cried and told the teacher, his elder bro and sis are ok and well behaved. Some how, he still remain a Bully for the whole primary and he din pursue his studies anymore after primary.
Poor Anna. Sayang. Sayang. I think its a worry how to protect our little ones from bullies but no other way accept us being more vigilant and observant so that they tell us lah. I remember being bullied in Std 1, so takut to go to school! Kesiannya! lol.
poor girl, kena pinch for no reason!
Shud have taken the boy’s picture and put it up here.
Best with his parent’s face.
没家教…
>> Shiaulin, 每当遇到这样的问题孩子，我一方面是很生气， 可是更生气的是，有时不一定是父母的问题，有时可能是环境的问题，虽然开除出校是能解决当前问题，可是没有治根的处理方法，可能孩子长大之后对社会会有更大的危险。
而更难过的是你我都没有去改变的能力。
>> Greenapple, she sleep well last night, hope she wouldn’t remember the incident, and got pinch others :P.
>> Milly, hahaha… 你也知道后果如何咧… hehehe…
>> CrazyGrr|, may be the parent also don’t know what their son did :P.
>> King’s Wife, I wish I am the one :lol:… :P.
>> Leecs, fierce look huh? Twinsdad also hahaha… give Terminator look, imagine my hubby’s small eye get even smaller making that killer look (no eye see).
>> ET, sshhh… under the eyes of public mah, being civilised a bit lor, but behid the PC screen *pinch back gao-gao*. LOL…
>> Egghead, you mean you little skywalker macam bowling ball(or SpaceBall? spoof of StarWars, watch before?)? hahaha… who throw it? this is the kind of bowling ball you wish it ended up longkang in stead of bump to someone right?
>> Miickey, yah, my primary school time also got boys bully us around, but then after graduated, and bump with them on the street, they feel ashamed and shied away
>> MG, Oh dear… you also kena bully before? I was lucky, I had my sister Bridgette “look after” me, during our primary school time, she very well known as “chili padi”. so I can goyang kaki.
>> Jesslyn, that’s why lor, so 冤枉。
>> Jason, by the time we take out camera people long gone lor, anyway didn’t bring camera.
wow..so scary man..I oso wondering how to protect our kids lah..fight back? or run away from this?
This suddenly remind me that it really happen everywhere ahh..no wonder long long time ago, my mother wanna move out from big family which all the uncle’s family stay together wan..She always complaint..child kena bully, don’t donno should scold relative’s child or own child lah..sometimes complain to their parents oso no use wan..
Poor Annabelle. Come, come, Auntie Tracy hug hug. Don’t cry, don’t cry, Annabelle big girl okay or *get mommy to pinch the boy who pinched u* kakakakaka.
Jesslyn and I experienced more or less the scene when we were in Malacca. It happened dat an Indian boy, ‘maybe accidentally’, shoved a girl at this McD playplace. The girl’s mom came ’shouting’ at the small timid boy and he cried. The boy’s papa immediately came to see what happened. So, when he actually asked what happened, the girl’s mom was shouting on top of her voice claiming dat the boy was bullying her girl and asking the man whether he wanted a fight. Boy of boy, definitely, we were so shocked at the attitude’s of the girl.
The boy’s papa was, in a nice way, trying to find out what happened and this woman was making a scene oredi. I think everyone who was there were frowning and shaking their heads - at the attitude (like ‘put fu’) of the woman. Tsk, tsk, tsk, just pity her on how’s she’s going to teach her kids. In a way, she’s protecting her child but maybe she should be more calm and come to her senses to talk in a nice way.
Really, being parents of nowadays kids is no easy job.
教她们防卫术最好。
长大了，还可以保护自己from those 抢劫／变态佬 etc。
Aiyo.. poor Annabelle, puteh puteh kena..
But maybe the boy doesn’t know his strength.. thought of being playful but used to much strength until hurt her?
Giving him the benefit of the doubt.
but nvmlar..i teach them to proctect themselve mah…. if mummy go crazy simple beat them..then they can self defence too… wahahah… kidding lar..
Aiks, how come twinsdad never go pinch him back?
Last time in school, I also kena from one of my classmate, she likes to sharpern her pencil sharp and pook me with it. Hehehe…one day, I was sick and vomit all over her.
Oh dear… poor Annabelle! That boy probably is very very spoilt (perhaps the only grandson after a decade of granddaughters or something and everything he does gets tolerated)and thought it was fun. Terrible!
I think the most important thing is to teach your girls how to say out what happened, after they have been pinched/hurt. Shout loudly “Ni wei she me da wo!” or something like that. Hakka got one saying, “sian gong sian jang” (who says first wins). And it also eliminates the need for you and Twinsdad to guess what is happening. Some things are meant to be tolerated, some not.
When I was in university in UK, while taking a bus to London from Newcastle (took 7 hours), one of my coursemates (of Bengal descent) was on the same bus. He tried to take advantage of me by placing his head on my shoulder and his hands were getting all “octopus-ish”. I immediately shouted “hey get your head off my shoulder ok?” and everybody in the bus was looking at him. He was very embarrased.
While we cannot expect good Samaritans to appear when we are in distress but at least when you scream out your displeasure it somehow intimidates the perpetrator. It show that you do not allow yourself to be violated. At least it would work for the time being for your girls, since they have picked up adequate vocabulary to voice out how they feel.
Just my two cents.
Hugs to Annabelle. If she can identify the culprit I will pinch the boy’s arms 30 times. Bear in mind I have long fingernails some more. Ouch.
Gosh, if the boy is my Justin, I’ll surely punish him already, that’s so rude.
>> Msau, it is even more difficult to reason with closed relative, 小声当没到，大声失感情。so your mother made a right move.
>> Tracy, ai yoh… if she happen to be my someone, I want to find a hole to hide .
That is why need to look see before make comment to the person lor, too bad Annabelle also don’t know how to speak out that time, 门口狗，在家大大声，出去又没声音。
but if the kids playing in the playground, the bumping is hard to avoid.
>> cming, 防卫术不一定能派上用场，因为当受训的时候，我们知道对手将袭击，我们就有了防备，但是当真的有事发生时，通常都是出其不意，我们的反应会延迟，身体可能不会很快做出像受训时的反应。但是知总比不知得好，会考虑。
>> Zara’s mum, ya lor, puteh puteh kean. you might be right, the boy might not know his strength, OK, hope someone teach him :P.
>> Milly, 还来多一招？hahaha…
>> Michelle, Twinsdad doesn’t realise what had happen, till he found out the boy already long gone, so? the boy was lucky.
Hahaha… what a “sweet” revenge you had there :D.
>> Miracle8, You give a very good tips here, never thought about it.
I used to take minibus to school last time, for 7 years, the first two years dare not to voice out everthing, if other passengers have any inappropiate manner me. after then later develope the habit of bringing the sharp blade and safety pin, poke those dirty hand ( and I did), I shout before, but no one respond, everybody just pretend they never hear, so the blade and needle still the best during that time.
>> Shopping mum, if this happen to your Justin, please don’t punish, ask, find out why the kid did it first lor. they might have their own reason of wrong doing.
Poor anna, when i saw this post it remind me my son had happend once last year. His classmate (girl somemore) push him on the floor and bite his left eye area. The scar left on his eye area about a week, the next day my son class teacher told me she had report to that gal parents but still the same things happend this year.
Lukily my son not sit beside her, i asked the teacher how you handle this case. They said just keep an eye on her, she had this kind of habit at her babysiter there.